Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Legitimate Hair Rape

Most every woman on the planet knows the sinking feeling of turning around in the hairdressing chair, all full of anticipatory glee at the prospect of the perfect new 'do, to instead find in the mirror a head of hair that is not all to your liking. It happens far too often and it happens to the best of us, and friends—it just happened to me. I brought in pictures of celebrities with the hair I wanted, gestured wildly around my head to describe in perfect detail what I wanted, and even went so far as asking for exactly the same cut that my stylist, whose own hair is remarkably similar to my own fine, fast-growing hair, is currently sporting. But did I receive said replicate haircut? No, no I did not. It's not that I look bad, exactly—it's just that it's not AT ALL what I asked for.
               The relationship between hairstylist and client is a sacred, delicate relationship, enough so that when one's trusted hairperson disappoints, one sacrifices one's own hair-happiness to spare any hurt feelings. I committed this strangely irresistible mistake myself, telling my long-beloved stylist that I loved my new, very short haircut when I hated it. And why? Why would I suffer a news anchor-like, fussily coiffed monstrosity of this magnitude only to avoid a completely situation-appropriate discussion of the error that had just been made? *Sigh* Alas, I have no answer.
            Feeling the sorry little wisps of hair that keep tickling at my neck, I long for the ability to pull my hair into a quick ponytail and can't help but feel violated. It's a case of legitimate hair-rape, and I am outraged. But more than that, I can't shake the strange urge to throw the feed back to Ron for the weather…

Guest blogger Tanya Chernov is the author of the just-released A Real Emotional Girl, recently named one of Kirkus Review's 15 Excellent New Memoirs. The book is available online at the author's website and, and in Barnes and Noble Bookstores nationwide.